Saturday, June 13, 2015

Musings of a Lonely Writer! ----- Living Vicariously Through My Characters

I’ve wanted to write a section like this for a while but have put it off, until now!

So today I am going to talk about living vicariously through my characters. I admit as sad as it is that I do tend to live vicariously through my characters in many ways. They are everything that I am not. They tend to be extroverts, vocal, strong, sassy, bold, say it as it is kind of characters. They have many flaws but for the most part they are exciting, adventurous, fun people. I’ve seen the dangers though of living through a character full time so I obviously know the line between reality and my characters lives (I call- characteralities) but I always think theirs lives are so much more fun.

I am the total opposite of them. I am an introvert and people tend to call me shy. Sometimes I don’t like to talk and other times I do. I will talk a lot to people I know well but they also know sometimes I just want to listen but not put much into the conversation. Sometimes around people in large group settings I like to just be ignored, be a viewer but not a participator, but then I am sad when I am ignored, I know crazy right, lol!

I hate social situations, don’t get me wrong I have friends and always have but I hate social situations such as parties. At parties I don’t spend all my time with my friends, I usually wind up sitting alone bored out of my mind and just wanting to go home.

Also I am way better at talking to people online. I can put myself out there a bit more because I am not in front of them. When I am talking to people face to face I get nervous, my face reddens, I get sweaty a bit and am at a loss for what to say but afterwards I think of a ton of things I should have said and want to kick myself for not saying it and being more open and sassy as my comments I think of afterwards would be just as sassy as some of my characters can be.

I didn’t start this post out to make it sound depressing! I just want to make a point that as a writer we often tend to be lonesome people because writing is usually a lonesome task. I talk to my writer friends about my stories but for the most part it is a solitary endeavor, which often times that solitary part of writing goes into our day to day lives. However the majority of writers are extroverted, talkative people and don’t have the same problems as some writers do.

I think maybe my overactive imagination and writing has been an escape from problems and things going on in my life in the real world. Going into a fantastical setting or just simply somewhere else in a normal setting on earth has been a way to explore other ways to live, through those characters adventures. It has been a hindrance in a way though because I think of my characters and their stories far too much, even in social situations and it leaves me completely unaware when some guy shows an interest in me too, lol! My friends will tell me of some guy that was checking me out or clearly flirting and I am totally at a loss because I didn’t realize it.

I know it is sad but my characters are more real to me than real people sometimes. I know that is probably not healthy but like I’ve said I know where the line is to reality and I don’t live too much in a fantasy world. Though I’ll admit I love to daydream and regular dream about my characters sometimes. In my dreams I am my characters and I love it.

I don’t think it is all that bad to live a little in a characters shoes as long as you come back to reality in the end, lol!

 I think it would be fun too when ordering coffee or drinks or something to give a characters name instead of yours or introduce yourself to a total stranger you won’t ever meet again and give them your characters name, though if you do meet again and tell them the truth they may think your crazy or a liar. Then again it may be the start to a fun new friendship, who knows and I am not responsible for any outcome should you do so, lol! Though I will say never pretend to be a character when the stakes are high and you have to tell the truth, don’t pretend then!

 I often think too it would be fun for one day to dress, talk, and act like one of my characters as a sort of experiment into how others view me and how I feel afterwards about that character. Though I’m afraid I will end up viewed as crazy or eccentric, I have been called eccentric before. I wonder if pretending to be one of my characters would give me the courage to be bolder when I am just me, hmm, I might try it and I will definitely fill you all in about it and may show a few pictures of what I will look like as one of my character, lol! :~)

I am hoping what I have written maybe helps others who feel similar in even a small way. I hope what I wrote makes since as I was kind of all over the place, lol. I hope too that I don’t regret writing this but I try not to regret any posts I blog about.

If anyone has any similar experiences with living vicariously through your characters or have times where you are lonely and think it is because of being a writer or an introvert or simply want to just tell me anything leave a comment in the comment section of this post. I would love to hear from anyone!

This has been Musings of a Lonely Writer and until next time I send my best regards and say Keep Writing, Keep Inspiring and don’t forget I don’t think it’s all that bad to live in your characters shoes for just a little while as long as you come back to reality in the end, lol!

Edit: June 14, 2015

I think in a way that readers get to explore and sometimes get drawn into and live vicariously through a fictitious character as well but they have the advantage of talking to others about the wonderful or scary or fun or adventurous characters they read about. Since writers are privy to worlds, realities and characters that others haven’t gotten to really explore yet is what also makes us writers feel different, lonely, and often a little odd for living in that reality too much. Others don’t want to hear often about characters that the rest of the world hasn’t gotten to read about yet. 

But being privy to worlds others haven’t explored yet is what I think makes writers lives even more special. We get more than a readers glimpse into these characters realities. They tell us their tale and we tell others what they have to say. I know they are not real but when I tell others about them I often say they tell me their story and I get a weird reaction but I laugh because it does feel as if the characters are letting me tell others about them. I don’t think that is unhealthy because doing it that way allows us to go at a story in a unique way.

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