Monday, January 25, 2016

Musings of a Lonely Writer! -----Insta Love or Insta Don’t?

I don’t know if I’ve gone over this topic before, I thought I had but I couldn’t find any posts for it so maybe I didn’t. Of course if I did my apologies for repeating myself. Also this may dip into a Musings of a Lonely Reader Post a bit so bear with me.

So I am a tad tired of reading a novel, mostly YA Novels, sorry to YA novel writers as I write them myself but the theme of Insta Love is a tad annoying and over done. I mean to have two characters meet and the sparks fly instantly and be like I will die for you five minutes after meeting is a tad much. Though often entertaining and it brings a dangerous adventure to the story it brings nothing to the real belief of a relationship. Though as I’ve said before in other posts readers, me included, want to escape reality for a couple of hours, so the regular rules don’t apply but I often wish that they did, even just a tiny bit.

So I could buy the Insta Love at first sight if it was maybe presented differently. Like I could buy the I love you even though I just met you if I was given more in-depth love building later. Often times we as readers are supposed to buy the I love you and that’s it. I want to know how they would progress, do they butt heads and are fiery lovers or are they sweet every day is sunshine and bunnies kind of lovers. I want to know how they progress and learn about each other. What did they come to know and like or love about each other? I hate the he’s hot / she’s hot and they kiss two seconds later. Why do they love each other, beyond the physical attributes? I want more for goodness sakes! :~)

I’ve had Insta Attraction in my novels and that has grown into something more and then finally love but I have never had boom bang Insta Love! Lol! I mean it’s cool if anyone likes to read or write that as some famous authors have presented it that way but I often wonder why the characters love each other. What I get makes me feel I missed something but I apparently didn’t, it just was never there or I didn’t catch it.

There are some stories where I read the book and watch the movie and at the end of both I had no clue why the two clueless main characters loved each other, beyond they were two hot people who saw each other and they were ready to battle monsters, parents disapproval, other conflicts to finally be in each others arms for all eternity, or until they undoubtedly die.


I literally read a story once where all the character could do was be in love when a naked boy wound up on her stoop, sounds more like hormones kicked in, she nursed him back to health and had to find a way to save him from transforming into a monster. By the time they were sexually intimate (well more like a fad to black scene where you basically are told they had sex the next day) I was completely lost as to why they were in love and becoming intimate, they were dry emotionless figures to me. They were silhouettes of characters that I wish had given me more and in essence became full blown colorful all encompassing figures.

Another time I watched a movie based off of a book (I never read the book) and I couldn’t figure out how the human female character became the alien male characters one true only love. They were attracted and talked a few times but it seriously could have been left out of the story and it wouldn’t have mattered. It felt thrown in for the sake of having someone the good alien male could save when the bad aliens showed up. He seemed weak at first and then finally had something worth saving, no forethought it seemed to his own neck on the line as he was the true target, and so he rose above it and with the help of another good alien woman they defeated the bad aliens. Love prevailed and the good alien boy said he would return for the human female character once he went off to find the other good aliens like him and defeated the other bad aliens. He said he finally had something worth returning for. I was like why? She was ok but not OMG you have got to come back kind of thing. There wasn’t much to their relationship to make me think ok I get it and swoon.


So I guess my conflict is what is the point of a love story or any love element within another story if I get no back story or progressing story as to why the characters love each other. So I guess I would like Insta Love more if I was given more later in the story but if I’m not given more then I say Insta Don’t! I am sure I sound like I am being overly critical and probably annoying but I thought what the heck I might as well put this into one of my Musings of a Lonely Writer segment posts and see how others may feel about this subject.  

Care to weigh in? Then please leave a comment in the comment section of this post!

Happy Writing! Happy Reading!

And Happy Insta Love or maybe Insta Don’t! Your choice, LOL! ;~)

Edit April 20, 2016:

 Another blogger had mentioned on another post about Romeo and Juliet some time ago and I have now come back to edit this post as I had totally forgotten about Romeo and Juliet. They are an infamous example of Insta Love and as the other blogger mentioned had they have gotten to know each other who is to say they wouldn’t have come to hate each other. But Romeo and Juliet is an infamous couple that no matter how illogical the Insta Love is they are a couple many a girl has wanted to duplicate in her relationship, example when someone says so have you found your Romeo yet.

I mean I have always loved William Shakespeare’s Works Romeo and Juliet among them. I do think it is a story of Insta Love but showing the tragedy of so many misunderstands that can occur not just because of a feud in my opinion but by being consumed by Insta Love which is more like Insta Lust, and not stopping to really think it through properly but that happens a lot in novels, plays and unfortunately real life. But it’s true in any love people hardly think clearly as it is, lol!

But I often want to think about what would have happened if their families had gotten over their feud and Romeo and Juliet could be together openly, would the story have been so much different or would they really have loved each other for all time and till death or would they have hated each other and regretted their youthful misadventure in Insta Love?

Friday, January 8, 2016

Missy Our Cat Died

January 4, 2016 our oldest cat Missy was put to sleep (euthanized). She was one month away from her 17th Birthday. She was the oldest cat we have ever had. She was a beautiful black cat with yellow eyes and an ornery personality.

As best we know is that since we’ve had a flea infestation she got to acting crazy and started biting and scratching and her claws got caught in her collar and so she fell on her back a few times and began jumping off of the furniture and her back legs would give out. As we fought the flea’s everyway possible she got worse, even after removing her collar so her claws wouldn’t get caught. Then one day she fell backwards off the arm of the couch and twisted around. She caught herself and climbed back on to the arm of the couch. Then she leapt into the floor and her back legs gave out. For the next few days her back legs weren’t working right. Then we couldn’t get her in to see a vet due to New Years and so we called on Saturday but they said no vet was in that day. So we made an appointment for Monday.

By Monday she was dragging her back legs behind her. We have a large vacuum cleaner box she loves to get in and so she would hide inside it. Me and my parents would have to get on the floor and coax her out so she could eat, drink and use the litter box (my mom helped her in and out of the litter box). We thought it could be a dislocation or broken leg so we were hopeful that it would be a quick fix or something.

On Monday we took her in and the vet told us that it could be a blood clot that is making her legs not work or perhaps a nerve problem with her spinal column. If it isn’t a blood clot she may develop one if she doesn’t use her legs. The vet also said Missy’s heart was irregular which could be from stress or a heart problem. Since Missy is almost 17 we could give her medications but there would be no guarantee she would ever be better and walk again.

It was the hardest decision we have made to say put her to sleep. I hated that it has been 6 years to the month since I put my other cat Tiger to sleep as she had bad Kidney Disease and so all those memories came flooding back to me. We stayed with Missy and decided to put her to sleep.

Missy was alert and looking around and growling and hissing, she has always been ornery and a mean old coot. I used to joke and say only the good die young so she would live forever, even out living us all. She had a memorable little life. She moved 3 times with us. Her and her siblings had actually gotten into a gas pipe and that’s where they had been found and how we got her. The gas pipe was outside my sister’s old job and she took Missy’s sister Miss Kitty, who died some years ago. My sister begged us at the time to take Missy and so we did. She was a few weeks old when we got her and we’ve had her this whole time.

At the vet they gave her something to put her into a sleep like state and then they would give her a second shot to slow and then stop her heart. The first process gave us 5-10 minutes with her. She growled and stuff before and during that process but my mom said she is going out in a blaze of glory and I said she was going out with her boots on. I rubbed her above the eyes which stopped her growling and we kissed and loved on her. I remember her looking at me with those yellow eyes and it about killed me.

When they gave the second shot they said that her eyes might not shut and she might urinate or poop so don’t be alarmed. With my cat Tiger she peed while I held her and I think her eyes stayed open but with Missy she didn’t use the restroom on herself and her eyes closed. My mom said it was a dignified end and I said she did it in the style of an Old Dame. Tiger had gone out like a little Lady I always said, I used to call her Lady Iger (a play on her name). Now Missy the little Old Dame or Duchess went out in a dignified way after putting in a few ornery little things like growling and hissing as only she can and always had.

I am glad that when I petted her she purred for me just like Tiger had done. In a way it felt like they were saying they loved me and were trying to make me feel better. I mean I have heard cats will purr when in distress as well but each time it felt like they were saying it was okay to let them go.

I cried harder than I have ever cried when Missy died and when Tiger died, but more so with Missy. It felt like my heart was dieing. I felt like I just wanted her back, no matter what. I felt selfish for wanting to keep her even if she couldn’t walk. At almost 17 years old a chart in the vets office said she would be the equivalent to an 84 year old. So I knew she had a good old life but I just didn’t want it to end. I used to tell her you have to live to be 25 so that you can go in the record books as the oldest cat and she sure tried.

When Tiger died I felt like I lost a best friends and Missy seemed to fill in the hole left, even though we had, had Missy before Tiger. Missy seemed to sense I needed something and filled in. And now that Missy is gone I feel like I lost another best friend. I still have a 10 year old cat named Tommy and a 15 year old dog named Precious but it’s not the same.

Now everything I look at reminds me of her and it makes me sad or wants to cry. My mom cried and still is crying on and off. My dad tried to stay strong but I saw the tears in his eyes at the vets office and he kept blowing his nose. When we got home he tried to hide it but me and my mom heard him cry in the kitchen when his back was to us. He loved Missy and it was hard on him. He usually is closed off emotionally, or rather doesn’t show emotions often, but he cried and it was sad to see him hurt too.

I have promised every story I write and publish will be dedicated to Tiger and Missy as those two cats were there with me through it all and both knew when to tell me to take a break, Tiger would sit on the keyboard if it was break time and Missy would swat at my legs. They each kept me company those long nights of writing.

I miss and love you Missy! I will never forget you! I have the memories to think about and silly photos to look at when I want to remember her!