Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Fear of Public Speaking….*Screams*

I have never liked public speaking. I get terrified. In school years ago when I was forced to do reports in front of the class my legs felt like jelly, my heart beat like a jack rabbit, my face felt hotter than the sun, and my hands sweated like a leaky radiator. It took all I had to force the lump in my throat down and to not get distracted by the pounding in my ears.

Well most know I am one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. As part of the Theocratic Ministry School we often have parts or are the assistant (householder) for the one with the part. I am as nervous now giving parts or helping with parts as ever before.

Recently I have had a problem which as best I know from self diagnosis from the internet is heat intolerance. Lately I have gotten so hot even when it is just remotely warm. I feel like in that situation that I want to escape and get cool. I feel my face getting hotter and some tell me it is red. I get blotchy spots on my arms and I feel often like I am having an anxiety attack or something. I have to run cold water over my face, neck, arms, and hands. The last few months it’s gotten worse. I can’t go to a doctor until I get insurance, unless I co-pay. I am scared about why it has been happening. It gets worse when I have to run around and get ready to go somewhere. It has gotten bad at the Kingdom Hall in winter when it is warm in there. I am so tired of this condition. I think this might have something to do with my hyperhydrosis (excessive sweating of body; I only have mild on hands and feet.) I also fear the over heating may be from an overactive thyroid, which scares me a lot…..ANY one have this or know what it may be? I would be very thankful to know….I intend to go to the doctor very soon anyway.

Here is the thing that has me scared to death. Tonight I am an assistant (householder) for another Sister at my Kingdom Hall and I am terrified. It doesn’t even matter that I am just an assistant and she works up the talk and I just read my part. I am so scared of being next to the hot seat, so to speak, or being in my very own hot seat, lol. I am especially scared because I am convinced I will get too hot at the Hall and get sick or have an Anxiety Attack or something. Which is the last place you should ever feel that way. I love being at the Hall, I am just scared about my health condition (heat intolerance). Which is made worse because I am scared it’s going to happen, I think I almost make it come on by stressing about it happening. I know I am not the only one who hates public speaking or has this condition but I feel like I am and I feel worse that it often happens at the Kingdom Hall, but not always (It happens at the store a lot too.). Also no body I speak to that I am close to really understands my feeling this way, which makes me feel bad and crazy or something. Which I have only brought this up to three people.

Please pray that I do alright and don’t faint or throw up! LOL! I am quite a mess aren’t I? LOL! :~)

I think in general people are afraid of a lot of things. I use to be more accepting of change and new situations, which is right and what should happen. I am not sure why now I am more nervous. I may have to delve deeper into this and find out WHY.  


Does anyone wish to share a moment where they were scared of public speaking? If so how did you handle it? Any theory’s on why people are afraid of public speaking?



P.S NOTE: It is not the Kingdom Hall that makes it happen. The Kingdom Hall is a wonderful place full of warm and inviting individuals. I do love the Hall and the Brother’s and Sister’s there. I just want it to be noted it is not a location that brings on what ever my condition is, as it happens at a lot of places I frequent.

I don’t want what I say to scare anyone away from a Kingdom Hall. The heat intolerance is my weird condition inside my body and it’s not contagious, lol! :~)

So feel free to check out any local Kingdom Halls, they will welcome you with open arms and help you learn about Jehovah God, his son Jesus Christ, their will for the earth and all of us, if you like.

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