So a lot of us were impacted in one way or another by the pandemic. It was a shock for sure. I had so many plans for 2020 as we all did most likely and in a moments time it all just came to a halt. When the whole world locked down me and my husband and countless others fortunate not to lose our essential working jobs kept working draining ourselves and in no way am I counting myself anywhere near the nurses and doctors on the front line as they were impacted far worse.
By May of 2020 I had
to take a leave of absence from my job to work on my mental and physical wellbeing.
It’s hard to work in a place when the world had seemed to have gone crazy and
people all around you could be sick and you’re trying to keep shelves packed
and the carts you bring out are swamped by desperate people and you are caught
in the melee. The greed and desperations running rampant drained me a lot so I
took a small break.
By June of 2020 I
was back to work but still feeling the strain of things. My husband Anthony got
covid in November of 2020. Two days later I got it even though I tried to
quarantine separate after we found out he had it but I got it anyway. We tried
to do the right thing mask, sanitizer, wash hands ect but somehow it wasn’t
enough and we had got it. At the highest my temperature reached 102.9 and it
was just awful, but we pulled through. The aftereffects are just as crippling
at times including the fear of crowds for me and I often just can’t concentrate
or stay to doing the same thing for long periods of time and exhaustion as well.
As well not taking care of my health by eating properly and exercising.
The desire to craft,
blog, read or write just went away most likely from burn out and stress. We
still hadn’t seen family except quick socially distanced stops for a few mins
and they were rare and our Christian meetings up until early 2022 to protect
everyone had been on Zoom. So March 2020 to April 2022 it was all done on zoom.
Then came the
vaccine and it’s a personal choice and after some talk my husband and I got the
vaccine in the end of April 2021 and it affected Anthony pretty bad and he
wound up in the ER with 103 temp that was not budging. Finally, with that under
control we got back to life. I think the vaccine was a good idea for our family
I just wish Anthony hadn’t gotten so sick the first day. Then in 2021 the cat I rescued when he was a baby, Tommy, suddenly passed away from a heart attack at the age of 14. He was with my parents.
Now here we are April
of 2023, vaccinated and boosted, and roughly 3 years from the first lock down
and I’ll say I really do hope things go back to normal soon, most have but not
everything. For the first 2 years it was scary hearing of the new variants
popping up and equally scary hearing of people that just have so much hate and
anger that fills the news feeds more and more. You would think after a tough few
years of reflection one would come out with a better attitude toward life and
the people around you but it’s not. I deal with the nastiness on a daily basis
at work and it had made me so sad and weak its hard at times, but I know a
better future is ahead and we are just on the edge of the end. However, more
was still to come…
***
That leads me to the
saddest of updates and it’s taken 14 months to be able to really come on and
say it. February 27th, 2022 my dad, Leonard Fred Coker, died at the
age of 86. He had dementia and other health problems for over 5 years but late
2021 and early 2022 he was getting progressively worse. He was falling more and
going to the hospital more often because of the falls. After one of the falls
he went on hospice care and was on hospice for 3 weeks before he passed away. I
kept telling him he had get better but he couldn’t stand and didn’t want to eat
or drink much. My mom Linda did a great job as his nurse and taking care of him
24/7 during those 3 weeks well more than just those 3 weeks but taking care of all
his needs while he physically couldn’t. To protect the dignity of him and my
mom I won’t go into details on the struggles those 3 weeks.
The Saturday before
he passed my mom called and said we needed to get over there he was getting
worse. I had that day off from work but Anthony didn’t but he didn’t want to miss
seeing my dad if it was his last day so we called work and waited forever
before we got ahold of the only manager on duty who didn’t work on our side of
the store but after we explained she said take the day and she would email our
manager and the day would be cleared, she was kind and accommodating, a rarity
where we work. We got there and my sister, brother-in-law and nephew who had
come down a few days before were there to see my dad as well. We spent the day
and night there with him. When Anthony leaned over to talk with my dad, my dad
held his hand up to Anthony’s face and we knew he remembered us. That day there
were times like in the last weeks that he seemed somewhat normal like during
the super bowl and playing with a squeezy ball and pop it we bought him to
fidget with but he was getting weaker. That night we told my dad we knew he was
tired and if he needed to go, we understood, and we’d see him again.
I thought I would be
ok writing this but its so much harder than I thought it would be.
Sunday the 27th
arrived and we came over. The day was normal enough. We were watching my dad’s
favorite channel, the weather channel, I laugh thinking about it, he loved that
channel. We all sat around talking about anything including the shows on the
weather channel. We each checked on him through out and talked to him. I didn’t
think it would be that day. I silently prayed I wasn’t the one to find him but
I stood up that day around 4 and I walked over and his chest wasn’t moving. I
stood there scared to say anything. I looked to my sister who sat on the couch,
and I whispered I don’t think he was breathing but I wanted to be sure before
we told mom who was sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen. However, mom heard
me and came over along with my sister and it was, he was gone.
I’m sorry I can’t
finish the update, it hurts too much.
I love him so much
and I miss him even when people don’t know and they think I don’t morn like
them, I do.
Its taken years to
write this update even the last part. I start crying and I can’t see to finish.
There is more but I can’t.
Thank you for
reading this and I hope that your well and I hope anyone that’s lost someone
knows Jehovah God has given a beautiful promise to see them again and I know
ill see my dad again.
